Mama Magick

Some days, with the inherent business of mothering two little people, I feel like my life has lost all of it's magickal aspects.  Although I make a point to light my altar a few times a week, it has been months since I've done any spell work or meditated.  There just isn't a moment where I can take my eyes off Miss Busy that long and, when her naptime rolls around, I fall asleep every time I sit down to meditate.  Rituals are hit and miss too since, by the time the moon is up, the only place I want to be is in my bed.  It's enough to become discouraging at times, but then I remember that "mother" is one of the magickal phases of a women's life.

Mothering is not just a chore like washing the dishes or filing paperwork.  The very act of being Mama is magick.  If you're feeling skeptical, consider breast milk.  Everyday, all day, my body and the body of every breastfeeding mama produces a very special magickal elixir.  It is far more than nutrition.  It is comfort and love and security.  It is healing tonic and soothing salve.  It is the start to a life time of good physical and emotional health. 

Just like knowingly casting a spell takes huge quantities of energy, the bodies automatic act of creating breast milk and nursing can be physically taxing.  When I choose to nourish my children with my own body, I choose not just to fill their stomachs with the healthiest substance known to man, I also choose to give them large blocks of time to soak in my love and affection unhindered.  Love is the intent of all I do for my children and intent is at the base of all magickal working. 

 

 

At this stage in my life, magick looks a little different than it did before.  I cannot let the spiritual side of myself go, but I do have to recognize that being a mama and a witch are not two different things.  I am both and as of this moment, my intent is focused mainly on two very small people.  Although I sometimes want to follow modern society and demand more of myself, in my heart I know that this is the natural order of things.  I may be doing the greatest magick of my life right now. 

Not Just for Pickling

Dill drying in my kitchen.


 

Last week at the farmers market, a lady was selling huge bunches of dill for pickling.   Now, I love good homemade pickles as much as the next girl, but there just isn't going to be any of those coming from my kitchen this fall.  To start with, I opted out of the garden this year on grounds that I would be extremely pregnant come harvest time yep, guessed that right and even if I were to have a plethora of cucumbers on hand the flat topped stove in this apartment would not handle my canner.  Still, the dill smelled delicious I tracked the vendor down with my nose and I could just imagine how tasty the wispy little greens would be mixed in with a salad or flavoring my favorite yogurt sauce.  Since I couldn't convince her to sell me just a bunch of greens, I decided to buy an entire bundle and dry the seeds for later use.  My kitchen has smelled amazing ever since. 

Not being extremely familiar with dill other than it's many culinary uses, I had to do a bit of research on this herb.  To start with, it's medicinal properties are pretty blasé.  As a tea it is used to calm stomach upset and its name references that use having been adapted from the old Norse word dilla meaning to lull, but that's the extent of it.  Nutritionally and magically, dill becomes much more exciting. 

As a food, dill is just plain good for you.  It is high in calcium, fiber, iron, and magnesium, as well as in vitamins A and C.  That makes me feel really good about using it in my salads and sandwiches this week.  Superman wasn't crazy about it in the yogurt sauce to go with his falafels, but I thought it was amazing. 

Magically, dill seed is known for protection and love it gives an overall sense of wellbeing and is traditionally hung in children's cradles.  It is also included in protective sachets and used to bless homes and particularly kitchens.  Since I am now the steward of a goodly amount of these seeds, I am sure I will find many ways to incorporate dill into my practice.  A few of my initial plans include a sachet to tuck into the babies bed and including it in a protective incense. 

Lessons for a Magical Mama

 

There is nothing like a cantankerous child to ruin a magical moment.  You have slipped out for a nature walk, young one in tow, and just when you found what you thought you were looking for the child in the stroller turns into a banshee.  It only takes one wild yell to chase off every living being in the area and completely destroy your newly found center.  Yep, that is exactly what happened to me today. 

Superman and I had Miss Busy down by the river and in all fairness, we should have known better.  It was past naptime, but it was such a beautiful day- how could we resist?!  All was pretty well at first and she happily rode down the path perched on her daddy's shoulders.  It was when I paused and exclaimed, "Wild Sage!" Prairie sage/Wild sage is native to this region and can be used like white sage. More about the in a herbology post, this is a parenting ramble.    Things started going downhill.  Of course, this is one of the local plants I have been on the lookout for and I was all ready to harvest a bit.  By the time I had procured permission and left a small gift, all hell had broken loose.  We left quickly with a screaming little girl and one small branch of sage.

I have to admit that I was really disappointed to walk away from the potential smudge sticks just waiting beside the trail.  I had already envisioned the beautiful sage tied into pretty little bundles, drying in my pantry.  It was tempting to let my failed harvest become a sore spot in the day, but when I scrolled through the days photos on my camera I knew that no time had been wasted.  Not only do I now know where to find sage I'll go long before naptime in the future and arm myself with snacks, but we also enjoyed a beautiful walk, found an abandoned birds nest, picked out a campsite for later in the season, and made a few memories. 

Also, the older children have taught me just how fleeting the baby stage really is.  It will not be long before Miss Busy is no longer available to join me on daily walks.  She will have school and friends and activities clamoring for the moments that are currently all mine.  Then I will have all the time I need to gather herbs, commune with nature, and just be...but I will miss her. 

Thoughts On Motherhood

A Recent Photo of Miss Busy and I

There is a lot to be said for the stages of a woman's life.  Unfortunately, in our society the Maiden stage is idolized and moving on to the more mature and productive stages life is often feared or shunned.  Oh, being a Maiden is beautiful!  I love to hear the joy and optimism in my young Maiden's voice, but I also have no desire to be fourteen again.  A Maiden has troves of wonder and untouched beauty, but she also has a lot of learning to do and much of it will be painful. 

As a Mother, I feel I have come into my own.  I am currently carrying my sixth child and find myself to be more beautiful and confident than ever.  When I hold one of my children some of whom are now bigger than I am, I see how powerful and yet how small I can be at the same time.  I am the one who will provide the love that they need to grow and meet their potential, I am the measure by which they will gauge good and bad, and I am the one who's strength they will draw on.  Yet, with in all that power, I will still be unable to give them a perfect life and I am far from capable of  being  the perfect Mama I feel they deserve.  In my children I find both my honor and my humility.

As a Mother, I have learned that my body is amazing.  Before having babies, I had a body I was very proud of.  I was tall and lean, nothing except legs and boobs.  I never felt very beautiful, but I loved my figure.  When things didn't bounce right back after my first child, I felt somewhat like a failure and worked hard to get my shape back, but the babies just kept coming.  Then about the time my oldest was four he asked me, "Mama, why is your tummy so ugly."  I told him that the saggy skin and stretch marks were just the natural results of having children and he started to cry.  As he clung to me and apologized with his little heart absolutely broken over the damage he had done, I suddenly knew it didn't matter one bit.  I told him that he and his siblings were worth every single stretch mark  and I would not trade even a moment with one for them for my pretty tummy back.  That was the day I begin to make friends with my body.  Sometimes I still have a moment of insecurity, but then I remember that creating life is no easy task.  My body has worked hard and never failed to nurture and protect those I love the most.  My figure isn't perfect, but my body is. 

As a Mother, I learned to pick my battles.  My children are not here to be little reflections of me, make me look good, or to define my success as a human being.  My children are here to grow and learn and become the individuals they are meant to be.  It is very easy for many parents to view their offspring as little accessories and want to position them in whatever manner they will be the most flattering.  Sorry, but being a parent is not flattering.  It is often tiring and messy, but so very rewarding.  As long as my children are not behaving in a harmful way or being immoral, I see no reason to control their choices.  So what if Sassafras prefers camo to lace or Mr. Man chooses to wear long johns under swimming trunks to kindergarten?  They might not be following the status quo, but they are following their hearts.  By respecting them as individuals, I keep their hearts and minds open to my influence in the areas that really matter. 

I guess, over all it just boils down to...I love being a Mama.  Yet, as much as I love being the center of my children's world, I know the day is coming when they will move on.  G.I Joe keeps reminding me that he will be enlisted in a scant two years.  Then I will move on.  I will be the grandmother, the wise one, the crone.  It is a phase of life, I look forward to.  All in due time.