Thoughts On Motherhood

A Recent Photo of Miss Busy and I

There is a lot to be said for the stages of a woman's life.  Unfortunately, in our society the Maiden stage is idolized and moving on to the more mature and productive stages life is often feared or shunned.  Oh, being a Maiden is beautiful!  I love to hear the joy and optimism in my young Maiden's voice, but I also have no desire to be fourteen again.  A Maiden has troves of wonder and untouched beauty, but she also has a lot of learning to do and much of it will be painful. 

As a Mother, I feel I have come into my own.  I am currently carrying my sixth child and find myself to be more beautiful and confident than ever.  When I hold one of my children some of whom are now bigger than I am, I see how powerful and yet how small I can be at the same time.  I am the one who will provide the love that they need to grow and meet their potential, I am the measure by which they will gauge good and bad, and I am the one who's strength they will draw on.  Yet, with in all that power, I will still be unable to give them a perfect life and I am far from capable of  being  the perfect Mama I feel they deserve.  In my children I find both my honor and my humility.

As a Mother, I have learned that my body is amazing.  Before having babies, I had a body I was very proud of.  I was tall and lean, nothing except legs and boobs.  I never felt very beautiful, but I loved my figure.  When things didn't bounce right back after my first child, I felt somewhat like a failure and worked hard to get my shape back, but the babies just kept coming.  Then about the time my oldest was four he asked me, "Mama, why is your tummy so ugly."  I told him that the saggy skin and stretch marks were just the natural results of having children and he started to cry.  As he clung to me and apologized with his little heart absolutely broken over the damage he had done, I suddenly knew it didn't matter one bit.  I told him that he and his siblings were worth every single stretch mark  and I would not trade even a moment with one for them for my pretty tummy back.  That was the day I begin to make friends with my body.  Sometimes I still have a moment of insecurity, but then I remember that creating life is no easy task.  My body has worked hard and never failed to nurture and protect those I love the most.  My figure isn't perfect, but my body is. 

As a Mother, I learned to pick my battles.  My children are not here to be little reflections of me, make me look good, or to define my success as a human being.  My children are here to grow and learn and become the individuals they are meant to be.  It is very easy for many parents to view their offspring as little accessories and want to position them in whatever manner they will be the most flattering.  Sorry, but being a parent is not flattering.  It is often tiring and messy, but so very rewarding.  As long as my children are not behaving in a harmful way or being immoral, I see no reason to control their choices.  So what if Sassafras prefers camo to lace or Mr. Man chooses to wear long johns under swimming trunks to kindergarten?  They might not be following the status quo, but they are following their hearts.  By respecting them as individuals, I keep their hearts and minds open to my influence in the areas that really matter. 

I guess, over all it just boils down to...I love being a Mama.  Yet, as much as I love being the center of my children's world, I know the day is coming when they will move on.  G.I Joe keeps reminding me that he will be enlisted in a scant two years.  Then I will move on.  I will be the grandmother, the wise one, the crone.  It is a phase of life, I look forward to.  All in due time. 

What A Weed!

Broad Leaf Plantain: Photo by the UofA Cooperative Extension Service
(This is one variety of Plantain, do some research to find what verities grow in your area.)

 

The other day while walking I found a few exciting plants growing along the river.  Going right along with my "discovery" of alfalfa was plantain.  A beautiful pairing if not in just their grand usefulness, but also in their colloquial names.  Where alfalfa has been known as "the father of herbs," plantain is know by the Navaho as "the mother of herbs."  A common little plant, found all across the North American continent often conspicuously in the middle of a perfect yard, the leaves and seeds of the plantain both contain some serious healing properties. 

When I first learned about plantain several years ago, I was living in the rural South and learned to use the leaves in the old backwoods tradition.  To ease the pain and swelling of a insect bite or sting pop a fresh plucked leaf into your mouth, chew it up into a bright green blob, and then slap that sucker onto the affected area.  It may sound a bit nasty and seem primitive, but it really works.  Plantain leaf is a well know antidote for skin aliments of all kinds ranging from snakebites to burns and abrasions.  When used as a poultice it is also known to promote the healing of wounds, sooth the itchy rash caused by poison ivy, and prevent infection.  Incorporated into a salve, it is an excellent all purpose ointment. 

My recent plantain find moved me to do further research on the usefulness of this plant and I was pleasantly surprised.  The seeds that grow in a tubal spray from the center of the plant, the arching growth top-center of the photograph, contain a mucinous sap that is used extensively for internal healing.  One of the most exciting being for the maintenance of healthy cholesterol levels.  The seeds themselves are used similarly to psyllium in treating irritation of the bowls.  One source also suggested that plantain root can be chewed to ease the pain of a toothache. 

Since many of these uses for plantain are new to me, there is very little I can do other than relate the findings of my research.  As I continue to explore and learn about this herb, I will share more of my personal findings.  For now, I can assure you that in skincare it sits right among slippery elm and aloe in my estimations. 

Magically, I can find no mentions of plantain in a context that does not support or refer to it's known medicinal properties.  Perhaps in healing this humble, intrusive weed finds it's own magic. 

Hay is For Horses

Alfalfa Plant: Photo by the UofA Cooperative Extension Service

 

 



...every child  knows that!  Furthermore, growing up rural, just about every child knew that good  hay generally meant alfalfa.  It is high in vitamin C, protein, chlorophyll, and calcium to name a few.  Equine folks will swear that it is the number one choice for feeding horses and, in fact, the word alfalfa comes from the Persian word asparti which means "horse fodder."

On my river walk the other day, alfalfa was one of the plants I was excited to find growing nearby.  My first reaction was nostalgia as I picked a handful to pop into my mouth and transport myself back to childhood.  Ahh. One of those moments to get lost in time.   AHEM!  Back to the adult world...a baby fussing in the stroller does that. Beyond my childhood memories of idyllic alfalfa fields, there is a very real reason to get excited about this plant.  It is chock full of good things and is very useful to maintaining good health. 

In spite of the fact that the Arabs refer to alfalfa as "the father of herbs," I consider it more of a woman's plant.  It is high in calcium which is essential to women of childbearing age.  Has naturally occurring fluoride to help maintain teeth and bone structure (something that many women struggle with as they age).  Is full of vitamin K that helps battle the  morning sickness that many of us suffer with in the early stages of pregnancy.  Finally, because of it's high nutritional content, alfalfa is also used to boost lactation. 

Besides all of the lady specific uses I have mentioned, alfalfa is also good for numerous other herbal and nutritional applications.  It is revered by vegetarians as an excellent source of B-12 vitamins.  It is also an acid reducer and is used for various stomach and blood ailments.  Several years ago, when I was struggling with some allergy and asthma problems, I used alfalfa in my concoction of herbs to manage symptoms affecting my breathing. 

With all the benefits of alfalfa and its delicate flavor, it would be tempting to ask why we don't just set out a bowl full of it to eat like spinach.  Unfortunately, alfalfa is too fibrous to be digested comfortably by the human system.  The best sources of alfalfa are in the form of sprouts and dried leaves infused as a tea.  Adding it to an already healthy diet could be very beneficial for any of us. 

Any witch would be remiss not to explore the magical properties of an herb, but magically, there is very little said about alfalfa.  The only information I found on this front was in The Master Book of Herbalism by Paul Beyerl where it is mentioned that alfalfa has been used as a ward against money anxieties and is considered by some as a herb of protection. 

A River Walk

The Yellowstone River on May 5, 2014

To open with a bit of truth, I've been feeling blah this week.  Not bad, just kind of here.  Yesterday started out particularly slowly and it actually took a great deal of  mental coaxing to just pull out my yoga mat.  Duh, that's almost as pathetic as being too lazy to start a pot of coffee! 

So, with a bunch of excuses and feet dragging, I finally got my day started.  My case of the blahs  must have been more serious than I thought though, because when I read my cards I was told on no uncertain terms to get my butt outside.  Without arguing I'm proud of myself on that one I got myself together and when Miss Busy got up from her morning nap, we set out for a river walk.

The dike separating town from the river is topped by an unmaintained, gravel road that is used mainly by local fishermen and is a tough route with the stroller.  Fortunately, what I found was more that worth the effort.  Not only did I receive the energy and grounding I needed out in nature, but it was also my first chance to really see what useful plants were growing locally.  I was excited to find both Alfalfa and Plantain which are known respectively as the "father of herbs" and the "mother of herbs" and will be great additions to my stock.   I also found plenty of dandelion, wild honeysuckle, two aspen trees, a juniper bush on an abandoned home site,   along with countless cottonwood trees.  As an extra bonus, I found a rusted metal joint of some kind beneath the railroad bridge (it will be cleansed and saved for spells needing rust shavings) and five new stones. 

As exhilarating  as the walk was, it didn't take long before life started catching up with me again here at the house.  I sat down with the good intent to write this post and the phone rang, then Superman needed something at work, I ran out of milk, etc....  Somewhere in all that, the exhaustion of walking 2.5 miles pushing a stroller over rough terrain settled in remember I am 5 months pregnant and I was spent. 

Today started out quite slowly again and my cards for the day have warned me to get it together and find my passion.  I guess I should start working on that. 

Soothing Salve

This is my favorite, all purpose herbal salve.  It is excellent for even the most sensitive dry skin and aids in the healing of cuts, scrapes, and all sorts of minor skin abrasions.  The best part is that all the ingredients are food grade and easy to obtain. 

• 3 Tbl Coconut Oil
• 2 Tbl Olive Oil
• 1 Tbl Slippery Elm
• 1 Tbl Rosehips
• 1 tsp Chamomile
• 1 Tbl Beeswax Granules

Mix all ingredients except for the beeswax in the top pan of a double boiler and cover with a lid.  Add water to the bottom pan and bring to a simmer.  Allow to simmer for 4-6 hours, replenishing water as it evaporates. 

If like me, you don't have an actual double boiler simply nest two pans together with the ingredients in the smaller pan on top and water in the  larger pan below. Superman say's I'm ghetto, but I call it resourceful.   If using this method, just be aware of how high you fill the bottom pan so that no water seeps into your oil and herb mixture. 

Once the herbs have infused into the oils (after 4-6 hours), remove your concoction from the heat and allow to cool for 10-15 minutes.  Strain through a wire strainer to remove all the bits of herb and then return infused oil to a clean, dry pan. 

Now add the beeswax granules.

Heat once again, this time directly on stove top over low heat.  Stir occasionally and warm just long enough to dissolve the beeswax. 

Pour into a clean, 4oz container and allow to cool uncovered.  The warm salve will be clear and liquid, but it will thicken and become opaque as it cools.  Once salve is set, cover and use with in six months. 

My original recipe was created as a diaper ointment and contained equal amounts slippery elm, rosehips, and chamomile.  Since then, I have discovered that my husband does not like the smell of chamomile and I have reduced that ingredient significantly.  If a more scented salve floats your boat, give it a try.  I find the aroma quite enjoyable. 

Love Reflected

The Stone Charged with Love and Sunshine

This morning, I found a "new" stone sitting with my art supplies on the kitchen counter.  Since Superman is constantly bringing me stones I knew it had been left there for me to find,  but from the moment I picked it up I knew this one was special.  It isn't the most beautiful or unique stone he has brought me and like many others in my collection it emits a low steady pulse of energy, along with something else I couldn't identify right away. 

By the time my husband had emerged from the shower, I knew that this stone wasn't going to be added to the collection on the shrine.  I wanted it near me.  I envisioned wrapping it in wire and wearing it around my neck, but the truth was I was already becoming addicted to the feel of it in my hand.  I needed to know more about this stone that I had so quickly become fascinated with, so I asked Superman about it.  Then I understood. 

This past weekend, he and Miss Busy had been outside playing while I fixed a snack in the kitchen.  When I emerged from the apartment, I found her toddling around his Harley and he very patiently telling her the names of all the parts and explaining what they did.  At some point during their time together, Miss Busy had latched on to this particular rock and had been very reluctant to let it go (she is still in the stage where she mouths everything, so letting her keep it wasn't an option).  When he had finally convinced her to relinquish it, he had slipped it in his pocket then promptly forgot about it for a day or two. 

Somehow, the magic of love and sunshine had become infused in this stone.  It holds the memory of a beautiful daddy/daughter moment that was so generously shared with me.  I have always known that one can attach certain emotions to an item associated with an event, but this is the first time I have experienced being "given" a moment that I did not share in.  What a wonderful way to experience love this Beltane week.

Celebrate the Wind: My Favorite Childhood Poem

Fiber Art: Air Elemental (work in progress)

Who Has Seen the Wind?

By Christina Rossetti      

 

Who has seen the wind?

Neither I nor you:

But when the leaves hang trembling,

The wind is passing through.

Who has seen the wind?

Neither you nor I:

But when the trees bow down their heads,

The wind is passing by.

 

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Source: The Golden Book of Poetry (1947)

 

 

As a  Virgo, I am an Earth sign, but that does not stop me from being very attached to the Wind.  Maybe it was growing up on the prairie where the wind is a constant companion.   Even before embracing a natural faith, I found spiritual moments standing at the clothes line with my bare feet absorbing energy from the sun warmed Earth while the Wind swaddled me in friendly gusts.  For many years, not even understood by myself, the clothes line was my altar from where I worked infantile magic.  I sent and received messages, drew strength for upcoming tasks, and received soothing.  The elementals require no liturgy or dogma and they were happy to commune with one who simply believed.