Keeping it Witchy

It is ten minutes to noon and the altar candles have yet to be lit for the morning, my grandparents haven't heard my voice in days unless of course they are listening in on me while I fuss at the children, and Superman asked me to recharge his hag stone weeks ago. The only way I am slipping in some blog time is that I have to sit at the kitchen table, facing the girls door in order to stay on top of things and enforce naptime.

The baby is fully mobile now and getting a tooth...

My hands are full.

With time being a premium at our house, I have to be smart to keep my sanity and maintain spiritual growth.  Sometimes, that means taking advantage of random moments that pop up through out the day and other times it means making time.  Here is how I'm coping.  

• Set the Altar Up Where it is Easily Accessable. I use to have my altar in the bedroom to keep it away from little hands, it was effective, but it was out of the way for me too.  Moving it to the kitchen counter is nearly as effective for keeping kids out and it is much more accessable for me.  
• If You Only Have a Few Minutes, Use Them.  Study or write while kids are drifting off to sleep.  Dust the altar durring the three minutes they decide to play with Legos without assaulting each other.  Let them start eating while you take a food offering to the ancestors.    
• Let Them Help When Possable.  This one might be the hardest of them all.  Little helpers are often more hinderance than help, but making a mess and driving us crazy is how they learn.
• Keep it Simple.  Instead of creating elaborate rituals and planning highly complicated spells, plan to keep things low key until you have more time.  The supplies for my Full Moon Ritual are so few that they fit in the pockets of my over robe and most of my spells are based on sigil magick.  If something is feasibly do-able, I am less likely to put it off altogether.  
• Forgive Yourself.  Life happens.  Often our best intentions get swept to the wayside and we don't do all that we want or should.  If the baby wakes up vomiting and the toddler runs around the house tearing up paper while the preschool screams, chances are you might not spend time honoring your deities or talking with your ancestors today.  Days like that happen. It doesn't make you less of a witch.  
• Maintain an Atmosphere.  Sometimes little things really effect the way you feel about life.  Burn an herby candle, wear something that makes you feel particularly magickal, or daub essential oil on your wrists.  For a quick energy boost, listen to witchy/pagan/heathen music. 

Witching and Moming are both full time activities.  We do the best we can with all our hearts and just enjoy the ride.  

Little Witches, Big Magick

A few mornings ago in spite of the forecast for possible snow we woke up to a cold drizzly rain.  The clouds were low and hunkered down like they planned to stay and the updated forecast confirmed it.

Getting the coffee started, I grumbled about the weather that was going to keep me cooped up inside with three littles all day.  Miss Busy must have heard me, because from the bedroom she shouted her favorite expletive compliments of Superman and dashed into the living room.  Standing in front of the picture window she shook her little fists at the clouds and begin chanting.
 
"Rain, rain, go away.  Come again another day."

With in seconds, Little Moon was at her side chiming in with,

"Go -way.  Go -way."

Every fiber of their little bodies was given over to the intent of banishing the rain.  Their sweet faces were furrowed with concentration and I had an epiphany.   This was a spell!

My adult brain rushed into the ways I could improve on their work and create a witchy learning experience for the morning.  The moon was waning, so the timing couldn't be better and I had some fun ingredients in my cabinet just waiting to make magick.  When I called them away from the window for their breakfast, I promised to help them banish the rain as soon as they ate.

Soon it was evident that my help was not needed.  With in moments, the rain briefly turned to sleet and just peatered out.  With in an hour the sun was shinning weakly from behind the clouds.  They had banished the rain all by themselves.

Now before anyone misinterprets this and thinks I am claiming my children are magickal geniuses, I will assure you that is not so.  My children are many things mess makers, alternative fashionistas, mud eaters, but not super witches.

Intent!  It was all intent.

With out a doubt, they were 100% sure that they did not want a rainy day.  They boldly and loudly, proclaimed that intent while knowing that they were with out a doubt capable of making the rain stop.  

As witches we talk "intent" all of the time,  but my daughters showed me more about intent in 3 minutes than I could ever put into words.  What they demonstrated is exactly what I need to implement into my craft.  Intent with confidence.

**As a side note.  This makes me wonder what other nursery rhymes may be spells just waiting to be used.  Have you tried nursery rhyme magick?

Miss Busy as Divination Assistant

Today, I had to do some emergency divination.  Superman had a situation and needed my insights.  I usually do small, quick readings on my dresser top altar, but this called for something more.

Once I had the youngest two down for a nap, I set Miss Busy on the couch with a stack of books and started preparing the table for a rather in depth reading.  Miss Busy stayed on the couch just long enough for me to gather my supplies from the dresser and then she was all up in my business.  Looking and touching and learning, but I just wasn't in a teaching mode.  I told her to sit quietly and watch.   

She sat big eyed and silent for about 30 seconds before bouncing over the the record player and spinning some Fleetwood Mac we can call that witchy music today.  I gave her the mommy means business look and pointed dramatically at her chair.  She sat quietly before beginning to rearrange my set up.  I reminded her not to touch andprep to get started.  Somewhere in all this, I failed to get a good light on two separate charcoal disks.

She was doing pretty well at the not touching part, but keeping quiet was getting the best of her.  After shushing her for the third or fourth time, I explained once again that it had to be quiet so I could focus.  It didn't make her any quieter, just redirected her whispered chatter.  "Mommy, focus."  She reminded me over and over. When I reminded her to be quetshe shushed me .  As the cards rustled she very severely shushed them as well.  

The settling factor ended up being the threat of a nap.  Surprisingly, I did end up with a good reading.  Maybe Miss Busy learned something from watching, but I learned alot from her presence.  Firstly that my ability to focus is not as fragile as I believed.  Secondly, that it is time to get Miss Busy more actively involved with the craft.  

D' Aulares' Book of Norse Myths

Usually, a book review from me is a good thing.  I share volumes that I love and leave the ho-hum ones on the shelf.  Today, however I am going to share a book that I recomend you DO NOT buy.

A few months ago, I purchased D'Aulares' Book of Norse Myths with a preface by Michael Chabon through Amazon.  I can remember reading the Greek version of this book in grade school and loved it, so when I found this I thought I just had to have it.  Wrong!

The book features Norse deity and their adventures, but cloaked in a very Christian bias.  The preface includes some thinly veiled negativity toward our ancestral faith and the first two chapters are presented with such a Christianised slant that Superman insists they give him the creeps.  Further accounts are not exactly correct, but there is little harm in them and most mythologies for children have to be edited a bit.  The final chapter,however, is completely Christian propaganda and should and will be avoided at least in our house.

Since this book is paid for and on our bookshelf, I do read it to the children, but I read very slowly and do a lot of improvising.  Mostly, we look at the beautiful colored pencil illustrations and tell the story's for ourselves.

With all the good books available in our time, I would certainly recomend that this not be one you spend your hard earned money on.  Study the Eddas and Sagas or which ever classical stories build the framework of your faith and retell them yourself.   Work as a family to create an illustrated collection of your favorite tales and bind it into an heirloom tome.  You Tube has some great book binding tutorials.  Teach your children, but do it on your terms.  

Paint Me a Spell

 

In my life simplicity is a necessity and often times, magickal practice is far from simple.  We buy herbs and candles and books like they are the keys that make spells work.  Then we have to store them.  Sometimes we forget that the power is all around us waiting for us to be the key.  In implementing this truth into my practice, I gravitated toward sigil magick which has since turned into art magick. 

It all started with a blank canvas stashed in the back of the closet.  Then I started having an intense feeling of disconnect with my four older children.  Its a long story, but as a single mom I allowed them to go to my mothers for the summer and never got them back.  I felt that no matter how often I told them or tried to demonstrate my love, the energy was getting lost before it reached them.  I wanted to create a spell powerful enough to bridge the miles and follow them through out their daily lives.  I wanted them to know that I was always holding them in my heart.  Then on one of my walks, I was inspired to paint my love.

Everyday for a month, I worked on the painting. While I painted, I focused love toward my children, letting the canvas take on a life of it's own.    I painted a large soft mother Superman calls her "mustard woman" because of her color  holding her children to her heart.  I made each child figure in the painting as unique as my own living children and painted a binding love seal over the mother's womb.  Then I started the background in aboriginal designs.  When the month was over, I knew that the painting was not even near being finished.  The painting will never be finished. 

Whenever I feel the need coming from one of my children, I add to the canvas.  When I feel the energy of the painting starting to ebb, I douse it with strong coffee and allow it to dry in the sunshine.  Between times, it hangs in our hall. 

Since the time I started the painting, my communication with the older children has improved significantly.  They have started initiating phone calls and email conversations again and I find we never run out of things to discuss.  I have also finally been able to accept our separation without intense, unwarranted guilt.  If it is possible, I almost feel as if the magick has allowed me to love each of them even more than before. 

Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You by Nancy Tillman

 

 

At our house, Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You  is what I think of as "the blessing book."  The littles and I read it nearly every day and although it is not specifically a Pagan book I find it to be jam packed with magick. 

 

The beautiful rhymed verses read like a sweet love spell and even Little Moon who is not very story friendly at this point seems compelled to sit and listen.  On it's own it is a lovely story, but infused with a parents love and fervent intentions it becomes a powerful blessing.  I use it on a daily basis, but it would also make great text for a new birth blessing ceremony. 

What's In a Name

As pagans, we are quick to see the importance of a name.  We are so in tune with the idea of a name holding power that we anoint ourselves with monikers that we feel suit our spiritual self and even petition our patrons to reveal a sacred name to be used only in ritual.  We are very careful when we name our children, seeking names of power and significance.  Still, even we may occasionally under estimate how much names mean.  Let's take my youngest daughter for example.

Little Bitty Baby who is no longer so little bitty and probably deserves a more fitting screen name was named very specifically pagan.  Her full name very literally translates into "dark moon." It is a beautiful, powerful and witchy name, but it has it's draw backs.  Our Little Moon as I will refer to her from now on loves the night.  At nearly six months old she still wakes up multiple times a night to just hang out.  She want her mama to come sit on the couch and talk to her while she half heartedly pretends to nurse.  It is exhausting for me, but thankfully it is not consistent.  Her nocturnal habits follow the moon phases.  When the moon is small and dark like this past week, she sleeps very little during the night.  Last night alone, she was up six times.  Then as the moon waxes to full her sleep time increases and I am only wakened twice during the night.  Some times exhaustion makes me want to grumble and fuss over the situation, but in my heart I know that I brought it upon myself.  One does not name a child for the great power of the night and expect her to sleep soundly from sun set to sun rise. 

Another prime example is Miss Busy.  Besides driving me crazy in new ways every day yesterday we had an ongoing debate over rather or not making cat food soup was an appropriate activity for a toddler she has an intense fascination with anything magickal.  She is constantly digging in my magickal cabinet bringing me incense cones, thumbing through my books, and trying to add to my stack of notes.  Just the other day, I caught her sitting on the kitchen floor sorting through my Oracle Cards as if she were reading them. Please note that none of these items are left where she can access them with any ease, she is simply determined and continually finds ways around my solutions intended to keep her out.  Once again, it's my fault.  I named her.  Her given name means "woman with great magickal power."  She accepts the fact that my sewing table is off limits and that certain drawers in the kitchen are not for her access, but she stubbornly refuses to stay out of my magickal cabinet.  She is so obsessed with my pentacle necklace that Superman has suggested that I make her one of her own. 

The power of names hold true even when the child is not named with the careful thought that most pagan parents put into choosing a name.  The older children from our first marriages were named with totally different perspectives and still live up to their names.  The child named after greenery and plant life loves flowers.  The one who's name is means "a feminine warlike bird" is small, graceful, and lethal in any verbal match.  The one who in utero was already named for his grandfather, is a small version of the man he was named for.  It goes on and on to even include Superman and myself.  When I pause to consider, names are far more powerful than I ever realized.  It is as if they are a life long spell we place on our children. 

There's The Kind of Help I Need and The Kind of Help I Don't Need

Let's start with the kind of help I apparently do need.  Yesterday I was convinced that the computer was broke.  I pushed the button and nothing happened.  All the cords appeared to be attached to the back of the tower I even jiggled them a bit for good measure, but with no results.  Now the device has been behaving a bit "off" the past few weeks, so the idea of it giving up the ghost was not a foreign thought.  I just pushed the button a few more times and then shrugged my shoulders and went about my day. 

When the littles napped, I snagged Miss Busy's tablet and blogged about my sad, broken, computer.  I also resolved to put my new found spare time to work and get more art, magic, meditation, and living done.  Then Superman got home from work.  He jiggled the same cords I did then pulled out the desk and plugged the unit back in.  Vola!  We had a working computer.  He smirked at me and named himself a computer genius, but said no more.  That means I'm in trouble and he's saving up all the smart comments he could have made about this escapade.  Next time I think I've gotten the upper hand in some silly, verbal sparing match he's going to pull out the material about the computer.  I'm sure he's already got the outline written. 

 

Which now brings me to the help I don't need.  In an attempt to be true to yesterday's resolutions, I got my day off to a good start in the arts and crafts department.  I prepped a canvas for a mixed media landscape and then turned my attention to the scrying mirror I've been planning.  I don't know if old Mercury is making a last ditch stab at me or if Miss Busy and Merlin have some strange allergic reaction to progress, but turmoil soon ensued.  

Just after I had applied a second coat of paint to the glass and turned my attention to the dishes, the kid and the cat broke into a racious game of tag which resulted in a foot print in my wet paint. Next was a game of peek-a-boo in the table cloth.   Not long after, I got an important phone call and ended up sounding like a nutter while I dove across the living room to rescue my tea mug from Miss Busy and then moments later was attacked by a plastic picture Merlin sent flying off the top of the fridge.  I certainly won't be able to say I had a dull day. 

Peanut Butter Cookies: A Bit of Kitchen Witchery

My mother would have a heart attack if she even suspected that I added magick to her peanut butter cookie recipe, but I did! I hate to admit it, but I do find a bit of satisfaction in knowing that. For all the mama traits the woman doesn't have, she gets an A+ in cookie making.  These are the ultimate in rich, creamy, melt in your mouth goodness and they are only composed of three yes, you read right only three ingredients. 

One of my favorite witches likes to say, "Live Your Magick!"  Since I am a full time mama, my magick is in mothering.  Yesterday just seemed like a good day to add a bit of extra memory making to equation, so Miss Busy and I mixed up a batch of these cookies.  Every time we make them, I tell her the three ingredients so that she will have this special recipe memorized by the time she is ready to try the magick on her own.  Since these cookies are one of my fond childhood memories, I include a bit on my own mothers magic as well: flattening them with a potato masher to get the little knobs on the top. 

Absolutely Wonderful, Amazing, Yummy, Melt in Your Mouth Peanut Butter Cookies

1 Cup Peanut Butter

1 Cup Sugar

1 Egg

Heat the oven to 350.

Cream together your three ingredients.

Shape into balls and roll in a bit of extra sugar to coat. This is the step where you add your magick.  While I am shaping the ball I concentrate on the good, warm memories I want my children to have of their childhoods.  I then channel that energy and a good dose of love through my hands and right into the cookie.  To enhance the intent of the magick, we sit together and chat while we enjoy them. 

Set on cookie sheet and flatten with a potato masher. This creates round cookies.  Here we talk about the cookies being the same shape as the moon.  Miss Busy isn't old enough to have very in depth conversations with, but she is already learning about the tides and moon phases. 

Bake for 10-12 minutes. 

Remove from oven and let cool on pan for 5 minutes before transferring to a cooling rack. 

The hardest part about this recipe is waiting for them to cool.  Since they are really more like confections than traditional cookies, they cool very slowly and will scald your mouth if you are impatient enough to bite into one early.  Yeah, ask me how I know.  These are absolutely amazing with a glass of milk and I've been know to justify them as breakfast food.

Everyday Spirituality

Miss Busy likes to "help" me write rituals.

Since I am still fairly new to the craft, I am still working on making my path my own.  Last week, before the full moon, I decided to rewrite my circle casting and full moon rituals.  It sounded simple when I first hatched the plan, but it quickly spiraled into a hectic frenzy. 

Sensing that I was otherwise occupied, Miss Busy whirled around the house like a tornado yes, she looks sweet and calm in the photo, but seconds after I snapped it she was crouched on the tray shrieking like a banshee.  It was: write a couplet-got get Miss Busy out of the junk drawer, turn the page over-pull Miss Busy off of the kitchen counter, write another couplet-retrieve the pacifier Miss Busy snatched out of the babies mouth....On and on and on.  Nap time never comes fast enough or lasts long enough. 

Often, it feels as if motherhood is getting in the way of my spiritual life.  Then I have to remind myself that nothing is more spiritual than being me: a mother, a wife, a woman.  Learning to accept me and become the best me possible is the highest spiritual calling I have.  The fancy way to say it is enlightenment. 

I seek to be one with the world around me, communicate with the Elementals, hone my divination skills, and practice meditation all because my higher self will benefit the universe far more than my current self could ever imagine.  In my mothering role I practice patients, seek resourcefulness, and learn to put the needs of others before my own plans.  Each of the disciplines I learn as a mother furthers me as an individual.  They also work to give my children a solid base and a good example to work from. 

Circle Round: Raising Children in Goddess Traditions: Starhawk/ Baker/Hill

Holiday traditions and meanings are something most of us learn a little at a time as we grow up.  The holiday is celebrated every year with little variation and in true child's form we soak it up and make it our own.  We don't question what these special days are or why we celebrate them, they are simply a part of our life and we believe that we understand them almost instinctually.  So when the world changes and we are left to discover a whole new tradition on our own, books like Circle Round are essential. 

I originally bought this book as a parenting tool, but have found it to my personal favorite to facilitate my own learning on the topic of Pagan holiday's and celebrations and believe me it is one of many books I have that address the topic.   Trying to implement a new celebration into the life of a family can be frustrating and awkward at times, but the ideas and activities given in Circle Round really make it fun and easy.  As an adult, I have gained so much better understanding of the celebrations by reading the holiday section of this book, I sometimes forget that it contains a plethora of other information as well.  It has chapters on basic traditions (circle casting, centering), a full section on activities to teach about the Elementals, and another section covering a child's growth and the rites of passage between infancy and adulthood.  Well written stories and songs (with music) accompany many of the topics to help facilitate memory in a positive way. 

To be completely truthful, I have not sat down and read this book in its entirety and I doubt that I ever will.  For me, it is more of a reference book to be returned to again and a again for ideas and inspiration.  I am really looking forward to using it frequently with Miss Busy and the new baby when they start to explore the natural world and their own place in the grander scheme. 

Lessons for a Magical Mama

 

There is nothing like a cantankerous child to ruin a magical moment.  You have slipped out for a nature walk, young one in tow, and just when you found what you thought you were looking for the child in the stroller turns into a banshee.  It only takes one wild yell to chase off every living being in the area and completely destroy your newly found center.  Yep, that is exactly what happened to me today. 

Superman and I had Miss Busy down by the river and in all fairness, we should have known better.  It was past naptime, but it was such a beautiful day- how could we resist?!  All was pretty well at first and she happily rode down the path perched on her daddy's shoulders.  It was when I paused and exclaimed, "Wild Sage!" Prairie sage/Wild sage is native to this region and can be used like white sage. More about the in a herbology post, this is a parenting ramble.    Things started going downhill.  Of course, this is one of the local plants I have been on the lookout for and I was all ready to harvest a bit.  By the time I had procured permission and left a small gift, all hell had broken loose.  We left quickly with a screaming little girl and one small branch of sage.

I have to admit that I was really disappointed to walk away from the potential smudge sticks just waiting beside the trail.  I had already envisioned the beautiful sage tied into pretty little bundles, drying in my pantry.  It was tempting to let my failed harvest become a sore spot in the day, but when I scrolled through the days photos on my camera I knew that no time had been wasted.  Not only do I now know where to find sage I'll go long before naptime in the future and arm myself with snacks, but we also enjoyed a beautiful walk, found an abandoned birds nest, picked out a campsite for later in the season, and made a few memories. 

Also, the older children have taught me just how fleeting the baby stage really is.  It will not be long before Miss Busy is no longer available to join me on daily walks.  She will have school and friends and activities clamoring for the moments that are currently all mine.  Then I will have all the time I need to gather herbs, commune with nature, and just be...but I will miss her. 

Thoughts On Motherhood

A Recent Photo of Miss Busy and I

There is a lot to be said for the stages of a woman's life.  Unfortunately, in our society the Maiden stage is idolized and moving on to the more mature and productive stages life is often feared or shunned.  Oh, being a Maiden is beautiful!  I love to hear the joy and optimism in my young Maiden's voice, but I also have no desire to be fourteen again.  A Maiden has troves of wonder and untouched beauty, but she also has a lot of learning to do and much of it will be painful. 

As a Mother, I feel I have come into my own.  I am currently carrying my sixth child and find myself to be more beautiful and confident than ever.  When I hold one of my children some of whom are now bigger than I am, I see how powerful and yet how small I can be at the same time.  I am the one who will provide the love that they need to grow and meet their potential, I am the measure by which they will gauge good and bad, and I am the one who's strength they will draw on.  Yet, with in all that power, I will still be unable to give them a perfect life and I am far from capable of  being  the perfect Mama I feel they deserve.  In my children I find both my honor and my humility.

As a Mother, I have learned that my body is amazing.  Before having babies, I had a body I was very proud of.  I was tall and lean, nothing except legs and boobs.  I never felt very beautiful, but I loved my figure.  When things didn't bounce right back after my first child, I felt somewhat like a failure and worked hard to get my shape back, but the babies just kept coming.  Then about the time my oldest was four he asked me, "Mama, why is your tummy so ugly."  I told him that the saggy skin and stretch marks were just the natural results of having children and he started to cry.  As he clung to me and apologized with his little heart absolutely broken over the damage he had done, I suddenly knew it didn't matter one bit.  I told him that he and his siblings were worth every single stretch mark  and I would not trade even a moment with one for them for my pretty tummy back.  That was the day I begin to make friends with my body.  Sometimes I still have a moment of insecurity, but then I remember that creating life is no easy task.  My body has worked hard and never failed to nurture and protect those I love the most.  My figure isn't perfect, but my body is. 

As a Mother, I learned to pick my battles.  My children are not here to be little reflections of me, make me look good, or to define my success as a human being.  My children are here to grow and learn and become the individuals they are meant to be.  It is very easy for many parents to view their offspring as little accessories and want to position them in whatever manner they will be the most flattering.  Sorry, but being a parent is not flattering.  It is often tiring and messy, but so very rewarding.  As long as my children are not behaving in a harmful way or being immoral, I see no reason to control their choices.  So what if Sassafras prefers camo to lace or Mr. Man chooses to wear long johns under swimming trunks to kindergarten?  They might not be following the status quo, but they are following their hearts.  By respecting them as individuals, I keep their hearts and minds open to my influence in the areas that really matter. 

I guess, over all it just boils down to...I love being a Mama.  Yet, as much as I love being the center of my children's world, I know the day is coming when they will move on.  G.I Joe keeps reminding me that he will be enlisted in a scant two years.  Then I will move on.  I will be the grandmother, the wise one, the crone.  It is a phase of life, I look forward to.  All in due time.