Miss Busy as Divination Assistant

Today, I had to do some emergency divination.  Superman had a situation and needed my insights.  I usually do small, quick readings on my dresser top altar, but this called for something more.

Once I had the youngest two down for a nap, I set Miss Busy on the couch with a stack of books and started preparing the table for a rather in depth reading.  Miss Busy stayed on the couch just long enough for me to gather my supplies from the dresser and then she was all up in my business.  Looking and touching and learning, but I just wasn't in a teaching mode.  I told her to sit quietly and watch.   

She sat big eyed and silent for about 30 seconds before bouncing over the the record player and spinning some Fleetwood Mac we can call that witchy music today.  I gave her the mommy means business look and pointed dramatically at her chair.  She sat quietly before beginning to rearrange my set up.  I reminded her not to touch andprep to get started.  Somewhere in all this, I failed to get a good light on two separate charcoal disks.

She was doing pretty well at the not touching part, but keeping quiet was getting the best of her.  After shushing her for the third or fourth time, I explained once again that it had to be quiet so I could focus.  It didn't make her any quieter, just redirected her whispered chatter.  "Mommy, focus."  She reminded me over and over. When I reminded her to be quetshe shushed me .  As the cards rustled she very severely shushed them as well.  

The settling factor ended up being the threat of a nap.  Surprisingly, I did end up with a good reading.  Maybe Miss Busy learned something from watching, but I learned alot from her presence.  Firstly that my ability to focus is not as fragile as I believed.  Secondly, that it is time to get Miss Busy more actively involved with the craft.  

Trust Your Cards

Those of you who read my blog frequently know that I still have a lot to lean.  You may have also picked up on the fact that some days I am behind the learning curve- way behind.  This past week I made a stupid mistake not once, but three times in a row.  I asked my cards a question and despite getting the same answer in slightly differing vocabulary all three times, I still doubted my reading. 

It  all started last Tuesday morning when my dad tried to call.   I was home and I did hear the phone ring, but I choose not to answer.   I just didn't feel like I had the strength to deal with him, in fact just the ringing of the phone felt like an emotional attack.  My entire childhood was spent trying to be good enough not to bring him shame and in the process I became someone I absolutely did not enjoy being.  The journey to where I am now has been long and hard, but it still only takes a few moments for my dad to toss all my confidence on the ground and remind me what a disgrace I am.  I have the wrong haircut.  I have defaced my body with tattoos and piercings.  I endanger my children by treating them with herbs and having homebirth.  I married a man who is so irresponsible that he dares ride a Harley.  It goes on and on and on...  To make it even worse, he doesn't say it to my face.  He says it to other family members who relay it to me, so I can try to remedy the situation and pacify our ranting patriarch.  It seems that I am the only one who even tries to live without of his approval. 

So he calls and without even hearing his voice, my anxiety level goes through the roof.  I consult my Oracle deck and three readings told me to relax, be happy, everything is just fine.  I simply couldn't believe it.    I felt like a little girl trying to hide all over again.  Superman offered to call out to the ranch and deal with it for me, but that would have set off another chain of events that I didn't want deal with either, so I just let it ride for the rest of the day. 

The following morning, the phone woke me up and I answered without even thinking.  Of course, it was my dad and he was shockingly pleasant.  We spoke of general things like calving season, weather, and Miss Busy's new teeth.  I kept waiting for the tide to change, but it never did.  We actually had a pleasant conversation.  When we hung up, I felt like I had dodged a bullet. 

Then exactly a week after it all started, I ran into him and my stepmom at the store.  They had come into town to sell some calves and were grabbing a few groceries before heading back to the middle of nowhere.  My first response was to cringe, but he was grinning like a little boy and happy to see me.  We chatted for fifteen minutes or so while they passed Miss Busy between them.  So far, nobody has called me with a list of his complaints, so I am considering it a successful encounter.   

My cards really did know the right answer, I just wasn't willing to accept it.  Maybe I was afraid of being too optimistic about the situation, or I doubted my new found skills; either way I refused to trust what I was told.  Skepticism can often be a good form of self defense, but it can also be a hindrance and detrimental to a healthy relationship.  When I ask The Power and my cards for answers, I need to have the respect to take their answer for truth rather it makes sense to me at the time or not. 

A River Walk

The Yellowstone River on May 5, 2014

To open with a bit of truth, I've been feeling blah this week.  Not bad, just kind of here.  Yesterday started out particularly slowly and it actually took a great deal of  mental coaxing to just pull out my yoga mat.  Duh, that's almost as pathetic as being too lazy to start a pot of coffee! 

So, with a bunch of excuses and feet dragging, I finally got my day started.  My case of the blahs  must have been more serious than I thought though, because when I read my cards I was told on no uncertain terms to get my butt outside.  Without arguing I'm proud of myself on that one I got myself together and when Miss Busy got up from her morning nap, we set out for a river walk.

The dike separating town from the river is topped by an unmaintained, gravel road that is used mainly by local fishermen and is a tough route with the stroller.  Fortunately, what I found was more that worth the effort.  Not only did I receive the energy and grounding I needed out in nature, but it was also my first chance to really see what useful plants were growing locally.  I was excited to find both Alfalfa and Plantain which are known respectively as the "father of herbs" and the "mother of herbs" and will be great additions to my stock.   I also found plenty of dandelion, wild honeysuckle, two aspen trees, a juniper bush on an abandoned home site,   along with countless cottonwood trees.  As an extra bonus, I found a rusted metal joint of some kind beneath the railroad bridge (it will be cleansed and saved for spells needing rust shavings) and five new stones. 

As exhilarating  as the walk was, it didn't take long before life started catching up with me again here at the house.  I sat down with the good intent to write this post and the phone rang, then Superman needed something at work, I ran out of milk, etc....  Somewhere in all that, the exhaustion of walking 2.5 miles pushing a stroller over rough terrain settled in remember I am 5 months pregnant and I was spent. 

Today started out quite slowly again and my cards for the day have warned me to get it together and find my passion.  I guess I should start working on that. 

That Magic Moment

Elemental Shrine

All of us, witches and non-witches alike, long for a bit of magic in our life.  That subtle difference that makes everyday life a little less mundane.  Some women find this in the flavored coffee creamer they keep hidden way in the back of the fridge or in a favorite lipstick they feel particularly pretty in.  I find it in a quiet morning routine that ends with a few moments of greeting and honor at my elemental shrine.  The moments spent in front of the shrine help center me for the day and the flickering candles that continue to glow once I've walked away and the aroma of incense that follows me give additional meaning to the everyday chores of a SAHM.  I am not just scrubbing a floor or loading a dishwasher.  I am creating a magical space that not only shelters my family, but protects and nurtures them as well.

From many years as a SAHM, I know that having a routine is essential.  It gives meaning and structure and keeps hyperactive spirits (such as myself) from running off on endless tangents and getting nothing constructive done.  So once Superman is off to work and Miss Busy is bathed and down for her nap, I officially begin my day. 

At this point it takes a lot of discipline not to hop all over the ever calling internet, but the strength required to resist is worth the gain of a day that is well balanced and productive.  My first order of business is yoga (pregnancy yoga right now) to ground me both emotionally and spiritually.  Then I visit my shrine to greet the elementals and welcome them to my day with the lighting of the candles.  I spend a few moments honoring their power and acknowledging that they and I are one.   I finish up with the Blessing of the Green Witch as taught by Ann Moura in her Green Witchcraft manuals and then read my Oracle cards for daily direction.  I have created a bit of a daily liturgy for myself, but it is fluid and changes slightly from day to day.  With all this done, I am ready to go about my day by pouring a cup of coffee and enjoying a quiet breakfast or using the consecrated atmosphere to finish small magical tasks (cleansing the energy of my recent thrift store finds or lighting candles and sending blessings to those in need).  I have started my day off on a good note and feel ready to tackle anything, even a tantrum at the grocery store.